I think of Gladys Aylward, tiny little lady, never married, who served as a missionary to China in the 1900’s. I think of John Stott, single his whole life, pastoring and writing books that shaped the Christian landscape until his death in 2011, at 90. The single man or woman is in the unique position to only be concerned with how to please the Lord. A woman said to her husband, “Bob, the problem in this marriage is that both of us are in love with the same man.” In order to be the single or married person God has called you to be, you have to lay down your independence altogether. By the way, that happens too often in marriage. You cherish independence more than anything in life, and simply do not want the hassle of accommodating another person who might, God forbid, interfere with the way you live to please yourself. Compatibility means ‘you want someone who has the willingness to take you in as you are and not change you.’” That sounds like narcissism, not a desire for compatibility.Īnother unbiblical reason for staying single is simply because you don’t want to be bothered. In other words, the other person (you would marry) has to be extremely physically attractive. The first is physical attractiveness and sexual chemistry. Tim Keller writes, “There are two factors for having this so-called new idealism. Not to mention that they are nowhere near the “perfect mate” themselves, for that person does not exist. Some cannot find the “perfect mate,” so they keep playing the field. That begs the question, what about those who are choosing to remain single, for reasons that are not good? Marriage is defiled in the minds of many by Hollywood, the media, and fairy tales. Many do not have that gift, but remain single because God has simply not provided a mate for them yet. However, singleness can only be received by those to whom it has been given. That’s what the Bible teaches, and you can see it for yourself in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians. One man was so fed up with being asked ‘Are you still single?’ that he began to respond, ‘Are you still married?’” In either case, singleness is not a mistake or an aberration, and single Christians are not second-class! Vaughn Roberts writes, “A friend of mine once belonged to a young adult church group called ‘Pairs and Spares.’ Single people can be made to feel like spare parts in their families, social groups, and churches. God calls everyone to singleness for a season, and some to singleness for a lifetime.
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